What can I say about this year?
Hhhmm...Saying that it's “exciting” is well, a bit too much. Liberating? Yes. Weird? Yes. Scary? Definitely because this year I
went from having a job, not having a job, then having a totally
different career path until that path disintegrated before my eyes so
I was for a few weeks did not have a job again, then finally, back at
publishing.
This year I also met a boy. I realized some things about
myself through that boy. You know when you meet people and you find
out that there are things that you can and you cannot do through them
because they engage you in a way that no one can and you take it upon
yourself to be challenged? Well, I found out that I can be a very
understanding person bordering to “WTF?! IS WRONG WITH YOU
WOMAN?!” And that I could also care for someone unconditionally
no matter what the case may be and for the first time I was caught
off guard on how to feel about certain things exactly. I equally love
and hate him. Ask me why I love him? I can give you all the reasons
in the world. Ask me why I hate him? Give me a day and I’d tell you
why. He's not the easiest person to have in your life....period....but he’s part of mine. I know that it won’t be
forever, even without saying a word he made that crystal clear, so
I’m just waiting...any moment now.
This year, I also attended a reallygorgeous wedding at the beach courtesy of the Astetes. It was lovely
and very memorable since most of my friends that I adore so much were
there. It was one of the best days ever.
I can no longer pinpoint the highs and
the lows that happened in my life this year. Career wise, I'm good
where I am. Hard work with a combination of fate and prayers led me
to where I am now. Kids, always remember that you don't just pray
without putting any effort to what you want to achieve. It doesn't
work that way! Maawa ka naman sa dyos mo! For the past years, my
prayers have always been more of me telling the Almighty how grateful
I am of the things that he has given me and thankful that he keeps
on giving me the strength and reason to just wake up in the morning
and do the things that I have to do. It was more of that and not
because I needed something that only Him and his blessings can provide.
I have what I have because I earned it, and he knows it that's why he
made way for me to be able to reach it. He's like my coach or trainer but never my genie.
I've also met some “crazies” who
tested my self-control. Do not head on to war if you are not drafted
meaning wag patulan ang mga walang magawa, pumirmis ka na lang and
let them realize how moronic they can be courtesy of their own
doings. If there's one thing that's surprising is that I believe in
karma. It's not obvious, but I really do. I believe that what you do
to people, you'll get 10 folds. So if say you use people and treat
them like crap after you’ve exhausted everything you wanted from
them, karma is going to slap you with a “here's what your life will
be from now one because this is what you deserve” subpoena. Oh and
if you mess with any of my family members again....RUN!
This year, I have to say that I have
not spent enough time with my friends unlike the previous years. It's
probably because of the fact that everybody is busy being the person
that they want themselves to be....hindi....malayo lang talaga ang
bahay ko! I do miss them so hopefully next year; we'll all have time
for each other. I miss the road trips; I miss hanging out in the
beach and playing the “Will You Tap That!” game, I miss the
dinners, and occasional AA is the Way nights.
I lost weight this year too. It was
long overdue but I finally was able to go about doing it. I still
have a few more pounds to loose and I also want to build muscles in
some areas of my body (I'm talking about you biceps and triceps!) so
2013, let's do this!
For my 33rd birthday, I tooka road trip all by myself and I loved it! It's nothing compared to
having all your friends around to celebrate another year of being old
but there's something about traveling alone that's really different,
it gives you that certain freedom and self responsibility. I can
definitely see myself doing this again but I'm thinking of a farther
destination this time....it might involve an airplane.
I guess that's about it. I know I'm
forgetting a lot but I'm sure that it's all up in my noggin somewhere
and once triggered, I'll just let out a crazy grin. Never regretted
anything that happened to me this year, just the same as I never did
regret anything that happened to me in the previous 30 something
years. I know for a fact that having to experience something is the
best teacher. May it be a good one or a bad one, you learn something
from it. If it's a good memory, it's a formula to do it over and over
especially if it's something that works for you and the people around
you. If it's a bad experience, well, make damn sure that it will
never recur in the coming days of your life. Life's too short to always mess it up! I'm looking forward to what 2013 has in store for me. I don't want to over expect nor feel half-baked on what I'd be accomplishing in the coming year, I'll see to it that I'd be proud of me, that He will be proud of me.
Thank you for those who have been in my
ride through the years. You know how crazy and fucked up I can be but
you guys still love me. For those who were just passing by, good luck with
everything. I know you'll find someone more mental than me and
hopefully you'll get stuck with her for the rest of your life! Muah!
