Thursday, December 27, 2012

2012: Oh What a Year You Turned Out to Be

"The biggest challenge in life is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else."

What can I say about this year? Hhhmm...Saying that it's “exciting” is well, a bit too much. Liberating? Yes. Weird? Yes. Scary? Definitely because this year I went from having a job, not having a job, then having a totally different career path until that path disintegrated before my eyes so I was for a few weeks did not have a job again, then finally, back at publishing. 

This year I also met a boy. I realized some things about myself through that boy. You know when you meet people and you find out that there are things that you can and you cannot do through them because they engage you in a way that no one can and you take it upon yourself to be challenged? Well, I found out that I can be a very understanding person bordering to “WTF?! IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN?!” And that I could also care for someone unconditionally no matter what the case may be and for the first time I was caught off guard on how to feel about certain things exactly. I equally love and hate him. Ask me why I love him? I can give you all the reasons in the world. Ask me why I hate him? Give me a day and I’d tell you why. He's not the easiest person to have in your life....period....but he’s part of mine. I know that it won’t be forever, even without saying a word he made that crystal clear, so I’m just waiting...any moment now.

This year, I also attended a reallygorgeous wedding at the beach courtesy of the Astetes. It was lovely and very memorable since most of my friends that I adore so much were there. It was one of the best days ever.

I can no longer pinpoint the highs and the lows that happened in my life this year. Career wise, I'm good where I am. Hard work with a combination of fate and prayers led me to where I am now. Kids, always remember that you don't just pray without putting any effort to what you want to achieve. It doesn't work that way! Maawa ka naman sa dyos mo! For the past years, my prayers have always been more of me telling the Almighty how grateful I am of the things that he has given me and thankful that he keeps on giving me the strength and reason to just wake up in the morning and do the things that I have to do. It was more of that and not because I needed something that only Him and his blessings can provide. I have what I have because I earned it, and he knows it that's why he made way for me to be able to reach it. He's like my coach or trainer but never my genie.

I've also met some “crazies” who tested my self-control. Do not head on to war if you are not drafted meaning wag patulan ang mga walang magawa, pumirmis ka na lang and let them realize how moronic they can be courtesy of their own doings. If there's one thing that's surprising is that I believe in karma. It's not obvious, but I really do. I believe that what you do to people, you'll get 10 folds. So if say you use people and treat them like crap after you’ve exhausted everything you wanted from them, karma is going to slap you with a “here's what your life will be from now one because this is what you deserve” subpoena. Oh and if you mess with any of my family members again....RUN!

This year, I have to say that I have not spent enough time with my friends unlike the previous years. It's probably because of the fact that everybody is busy being the person that they want themselves to be....hindi....malayo lang talaga ang bahay ko! I do miss them so hopefully next year; we'll all have time for each other. I miss the road trips; I miss hanging out in the beach and playing the “Will You Tap That!” game, I miss the dinners, and occasional AA is the Way nights.

I lost weight this year too. It was long overdue but I finally was able to go about doing it. I still have a few more pounds to loose and I also want to build muscles in some areas of my body (I'm talking about you biceps and triceps!) so 2013, let's do this!

For my 33rd birthday, I tooka road trip all by myself and I loved it! It's nothing compared to having all your friends around to celebrate another year of being old but there's something about traveling alone that's really different, it gives you that certain freedom and self responsibility. I can definitely see myself doing this again but I'm thinking of a farther destination this might involve an airplane.

I guess that's about it. I know I'm forgetting a lot but I'm sure that it's all up in my noggin somewhere and once triggered, I'll just let out a crazy grin. Never regretted anything that happened to me this year, just the same as I never did regret anything that happened to me in the previous 30 something years. I know for a fact that having to experience something is the best teacher. May it be a good one or a bad one, you learn something from it. If it's a good memory, it's a formula to do it over and over especially if it's something that works for you and the people around you. If it's a bad experience, well, make damn sure that it will never recur in the coming days of your life. Life's too short to always mess it up! I'm looking forward to what 2013 has in store for me. I don't want to over expect nor feel half-baked on what I'd be accomplishing in the coming year, I'll see to it that I'd be proud of me, that He will be proud  of me.   

Thank you for those who have been in my ride through the years. You know how crazy and fucked up I can be but you guys still love me. For those who were just passing by, good luck with everything. I know you'll find someone more mental than me and hopefully you'll get stuck with her for the rest of your life! Muah!